Letters to Lily Evans
by del Licourt
Summary: A collection of letters James wrote to Lily before their deaths.
1. I Of Chaos

**Letters to Lily Evans**  
_by James Potter_

* * *

**Of chaos**

Dear Lily,

Somehow, sitting here with you in my arms brings me back to the battlefield –

I guess it's fear, my love, that you'll ever have to get back to that place.

I am standing in the wreckage once more, after another encounter with the Death Eaters – we decimated them, but we have not won. A fight is never won if one of yours has fallen –

Too many have fallen, Lily, and I can't let you go.

Besides the obvious reasons, there was one motive which gave me the utmost happiness a man can ever feel when you told me you were pregnant with Harry – that was the only way I could ever keep you off the action, the violence, and – dare I say the word? – death.

Every second I spend away from you I worry. For you - for Harry - for us.

My hand is drawing circles on your belly and you laugh when my breath hits your neck – I am thrown back into reality. You're ticklish, delicate, perfect, and safe.

I am where I need to be. You are where you need to be.

The world is in the right place, for now.

Yours truly,

James

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**Author's Note**: Today is my birthday but I decided that my loveliest Morg Le Fay needed a gift – because she's just that awesome.

Hope you like it, love.

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I have no idea how many of these I'm gonna write or how often. Also: I am not a native speaker, so please, do give me constructive feedback if you find appropriate.


	2. II Of Beauty and Jealousy

**Letters to Lily Evans**  
by _James Potter_

* * *

**Of Beauty/Jealousy  
**

Beloved Lily,

I am convinced that there is no other woman in the world who possesses beauty like yours.

You rest beside me - a tiny body on a king-sized bed. Your pale skin touches the clean, white sheets. Blood rush on your soft cheeks, cherry pink on your lips. A thin layer of skin hides your jade eyes. Long, dark, thick eyelids that lazily flutter. Small, straight, white teeth on display through a half-open heart-shaped mouth. The golden sunshine that creeps through the curtains and set fire to your crimson hair, chaotically spread on the pillow. Bite marks on your collarbone. Steady heartbeat inside your slow-rising chest - a deep breath - slow-descending. Your slim waist. The subtle curve of your hips. Your thighs - barely covered by your nightgown, alluring exposed flesh. The way you move. Talk. Breathe. Say my name.

There is no way - no bloody way in this life, my dear, or any other for that matter - I am ever, ever going to allow someone else to feel this way about you. The only thing that puts my mind at ease is that I don't think it is possible for anyone to love you as much as I do.

I remember back when we were in Hogwarts and you had convinced yourself what you felt for Severus was love. This single memory is enough to turn my blood into fiery, acid venom as jealousy takes over my body and senses. My hands shake when I try to control myself. I want to lock you up in this bedroom and never, never again let you leave, let anyone see how perfectly beautiful you are, lest they realize how ridiculously _easy _it is to fall in love with you.

But even though I know I could never do it, Lily, the fact that I am able to even _think_ about something like that makes me hate myself. I could never do this to someone I love - obviously - but also, I can't deny the world the chance to behold and adore you. Because you are worthy of all praise. And you _deserve _to be worshipped, like the goddess you are.

My heart aches when you stand deliciously naked in front of our full body mirror, beating yourself down over every little inexistent imperfection. Blind to your own divinity, unaware of your flawlessness. Your hands float above your belly, which you judge too big, as if you are trying to hide it from yourself. You complain about your thighs, your arms, your cheeks, your chest. You want to change everything that makes you _you_, and I won't have it, Lily, I wouldn't be able to handle it. I just want to lay you down on our bed and kiss and bite and lick you until you wrap your head around the idea that there is no one who compares to you.

There will _never_ be.

Utterly yours,

James.

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**Author's note: **well then. This one differs a lot from the first letter. I just want to capture all the possible sides of James, I guess. And in my mind, he wasn't one to not feel jealous. I actually like the idea of jealousy being so unbearable it made him sick. He's a hopeless romantic. /sighs/

This was mostly inspired by my mood. The first three paragraphs were already written, I just added the rest today. I am trying to get past my own jealousy and writing seemed like a good escape. I am sorry if this is a bit too much, over the top, or what have you. I will be more careful from now on.

Also, Lily is not yet pregnant when James writes this letter. I don't know if it is clear, but the letters aren't following any chronological order.

Thank you for the ones who reviewed and/or favorited/followed my fanfic. I feel very honored and happy. I hope you like this chapter, too. : ) As usual, give me constructive feedback if you find appropriate!

Until next time, and thank you for reading.


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